http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060130/ap_on_re_us/dominatrix_trial
And the judge asked what do you guys call yourselves. And the lawyer replied "The Aristocrats!"

The Race to 50,000

Well, the blogging frequency had a small decline, but that was all thanks to the race to 50,000 hands of poker. I realized half way into the month that if I played 50,000 hands of poker it would net me an extra $500, so I decided to go for it. Here are the results

$3/6 SH - 53,704 hands - $4,118 1.28 BB/100
Rakeback ~ $2,500

Well, that's the month of January. The first two weeks I broke even. I was playing a new type of poker, and it took a while for me to get the hang of things. I made all that money in the last two weeks of playing. We'll see if I can keep it up though. I'll be out of debt next month if I can keep this up. I have good reason to believe that I can keep it up.

Catholine, your roommate missed my point by a mile. I never said the Jews should leave Israel. I said that part of Bin Laden's "truce" would probably include the Jews leaving Israel, but we will never know for sure. But now that you got me on the subject, people living in Israel are in a bad situation, but I would get the fuck out. Personally, if a bunch of people in Mauai wanted to kill all the Italians in Oahu, I would leave. I'd just go live somewhere where they aren't. I wouldn't be too happy about it, but it ain't worth my life. And would I go visit somewhere that Italians were killed? FUCK NO! That is beyond stupid. If you are Jewish and you want to visit Israel, you're an idiot, period.

Now, I'm not saying that they should leave. If you want to fight for your country good for you. My ass is getting the fuck out and enjoying life though.

Should they leave Israel? No.
Would I leave Israel? Fuck Yeah.
Is it more complicated than that? Prob not.

Well, I've been on the fence for quite some time, and it has been verifiably decided. I'm not getting a job. I am uberconfident that I can make it to July on just poker playing alone, and then I will reevaluate, but this year I am not applying to med school. It's something I really want to do, but life has been great these past 4 months, and I just can't imagine having this kind of freedom if I went back to school.

I even told my Mom. Sure she still really wants me to get a job, but that would defeat the purpose.

The Man: a case study.
I'm sure you know all about this Bin Laden tape. If so don't bother with the links but these are my references.
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/01/19/binladen.tape/index.html
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060120/ap_on_go_ot/us_al_qaida_tape

Well firstly, these guys are willing to negotiate. I'm interested if this negotiation includes the Jews leaving Israel, but I guess we will never know since the door has already been closed. The gist of the statement implied that it probably does.

Here's a couple of things that I really enjoyed though "Counterterror officials said they have seen no specific or credible intelligence to indicate an upcoming al-Qaida attack on the United States." I don't know exactly what they classify as "intelligence," but I'd like to see what they are actually looking for to determine if an attack is going to happen. I mean, the al-Qaida leader stating that they are going to attack the United States seems to be an indication of an upcoming attack.

Oh, it goes on to explain what they are looking for "Nor have they noticed an uptick in terrorist communications "chatter" — although that can dramatically increase or decrease immediately before an attack." First off I want to know what they mean by "chatter." It sounds like chatter is some hodgepodge term for a bunch of crap that they don't even understand. But then, they look for it to increase or decrease. Notice that they didn't even rule out that it could stay the same. This is what we call "intelligence." SERIOUSLY, he said he was gonna attack, he's done it before sounds like some intellegence to me.

Finally I'll end it with this one. "We don't negotiate with terrorists," Vice President
Dick Cheney said in a television interview. "I think you have to destroy them." I told you they were BFF's. This is just like in Brokeback Mountain where Jake Gyllenhaal hits Heath Ledger. Poor guy just didn't know how to express himself in a stressful situation.

Ok so this post is dedicated to the Apartment. I want to give everyone an idea of my living conditions.

Hmmm, theres a lot to be said about this picture. I'm sure you notice the axe in the futon. That's where we keep it. Scott got the brilliant idea that we could chop up the entire futon and throw it down the garbage shoot, rather than figure out how you are suppose to dispose of such things. You'll notice the pillows. Yes, the futon is my bed. And I keep my desk right in front of the futon. So it's an icechest. It serves it's purpose. Actually that was our coffee table, and Scott was a little upset when I confiscated it because he couldn't put his feet on it anymore. So we got a little drunk this weekend and Scott chopped off one of the arms. There's still plenty more for when Jinx gets here. We are waiting 2 weeks so Jinx can partake in the festivities.
This is my closet. I haven't moved everything back here yet, but I will as soon as Jinx gets here as I am sure that she will be needing plenty of closet space. You'll also notice the filing cabinet or as some people call it a box full of shit. Whenever I need to put something up I just throw it behind my back and hope that it lands in the box.What's this? That's right we don't have a coffee table, but we are classy enough to own a piano. You'll notice the beer coaster on it though. We even keep the coaster there when we close the lid.
We keep the dart board on the ground, and yes that is the box that the TV came in. Funny enough, Scott paid like $80 for those fancy speaker stands, but he keeps the TV on a box.
Of course, the Natty Light wall. In about 900 more beers we will have the wall covered from end to end.
Here's a picture of the bathroom taken from the kitchen.And here's a picture of the kitchen taken from the bathroom. You'll notice that the microwave is on top of the god damn stove. We have to put it on top of the refrigerator when we aren't using it. Also I wanted to show the Spatula. The handle is broken. When I broke it, I reluctantly commented that it would be a long time before we get it replaced. Scott shrugged and said yeah, I wish there was something we could do about that. I put the plastic fork on there to illustrate the fact that we don't own silverware. Did I mention that Scott has thousands in savings, yet no silverware.Oh yeah, Scott broke the toilet lid. Don't ask me how someone goes about breaking a toilet lid, but you'll also notice that stick on the top. It's not for decoration. We have to pull that every time we flush the toilet. This is the washing machine. You're probably asking, what is the washing machine doing in the closet? Well actually, every time you use it, you wheel it over to the hallway sized kitchen and hook it up to the sink.

Front Ocean:

Back Mountains:And with those last four pictures I think it's obvious why this is the BEST place I have ever lived. Just a couple of things to mention. That's Diamond Head crater in the front. And the double rainbow in the other picture is almost a daily occurence. Actually thanks to our elevation on the 34th floor, the inner rainbow actually makes a full circle sometimes.

Naledi Khabele
I verifiably proved that I am quite immature today. I was talking to my niece on the phone and we kept saying by to each other. She would tell me that she was going to hang up and then I would wait for her to hang up, and then she would scream "Uncle Robby you're suppose to hang up." she would have cute excuses like I'm really tired, I got to go take a nap. And I'm sick, I got to go. So this went on for a good 10 minutes until Naledi finally hung up. Well, Naledi is turning 4 in one month, so I proved that I am less mature than a 4 year old.

Well, I did a biathalon today, and I wasn't happy with the results, but at least I finished. I started off super strong. After a month of sporadic training only running 2-3 times a week, I pulled off a 7.5 minute per mile run over 2.5 miles, but it had the unfortunate side effect of killing my swim time. I came in 2nd to last only beating a 70 year old man, but I'm actually just happy I finished. I seriously considered quitting. I mean, I spent 40 minutes in the water feeling like I was going to vomit half the time, and not able to breathe the rest of the time. Add on the bulky bathing suit, the glaring sun, the broken goggles, my inability to swim straight, the 4 hours of sleep I got, and I'm not that upset about my time, just glad that I finished. I mean I didn't even know how to swim before I moved to Hawaii.

Anyways I'm geared for the next one. MY goal would be a 7 minute per mile run without being exhausted and a 20-25 minute swim. It's just like an Atari game really. I don't really care about biathalons. I mean, I don't like running, and I absolutely love swimming. But, I really just want to reach my goal in the way that you are trying to get the most points when playing Ms. Pacman.

Oh yeah, me and Scott are going to do an Ironman. This will recquire a 2 year commitment of working out, no drinking, and a strict diet. I guess I'm half convinced that I'll do it.

The Man - A definition

Well, if I'm gonna make this a weekly post, I thought I should rewind and define what really is "The Man." I'll kick it off with an analogy. (This is not a poker intensive.) When you play poker at a casino, everybody bets on each card that is turned over, and all the money accumulates in the pot. At the end of the hand, the player with the most luck wins the entire pot because he had the best hand. However, the dealer, takes out 10% of the pot up to $5 and gives it to the casino. That 10% is the rake. It may not seem like a lot, but last month I alone, spent $3500 in rake. And don't think that money goes to the dealer. The dealer gets minnimum wage. You are expected to tip when you win a pot.

So what does this have to do with the man? Well, the man is the rake in life. The man is your lazy boss who doesn't do any work, won't retire and just sits at the top making a million dollars a year when everybody else in the company makes $50k or less. The man is that ridiculous 10% you pay in interest every month. The man is that huge monthly rent payment that isn't buying you anything. The man is the ridiculous taxes you pay. The man . . . well, I'm getting a little upset, so I'll stop there.

However, there is still something missing in my definition. There is also a certain control factor. The man not only wants your money, but he also frowns upon anal sex. Gay marriage - out of the question. Illegal phone taps. He wants to know the books you have been reading. You'd better wear certain clothes to work. The list goes on and on.

This additional factor also leads into a bit of a paradox. I say that the man is against gay marriage, yet a clear majority of Americans support a ban on gay marriage. You would say it is "the will of the people" (Quoted from Bill O'Reilly) demanding a ban on gay marriage. Well, this is where it gets interesting. The man has infiltrated the thoughts of people, preying on their inborn insecurities, as a mechanism of controlling them.

Let me just use gay marriage as an example. I haven't researched these numbers recently, and the figures are ballpark, but simply put, before the 2004 campaigning, 60% of Americans supported gay marriage. Afterward, 60% supported a ban on gay marriage. Really, Karl Rove is a complete genious. He knew that they could win if they made the election about moral issues rather than the presidents actual accomplishments. Seriously, name one fucking thing that he has done. Please, leave a comment on my blog, and I will happily slam it. So how do they do this? They simply put gay marriage on a bunch of referendums, and show Bush with his wife Laura (the most USELESS FUCKING first lady in modern times) talking about how the sanctity of marriage is important. This gives preachers a little chubby as they now have something to preach about, the people gladly get shepherded into the polling booths, and on election day, Karl Rove gives Bush the thumbs up before all the votes in Ohio are counted.

I think the interconnection between the man and controlling the populous is best illustrated by the Saudi Royal Family. These fuckers date back centuries. Don't know the entire history, but basically they enter modern times with control of the land with the greatest buried wealth ever. At some point they realize, hey, we are fucking billionares, our people are completely poverty stricken. We've got a good thing going here, and we don't want the populous to rise up against us. So they buy out the muslim religion, and inact fundamentalist muslim law, and go back to the middle ages. Some people consider that region to be in the dark ages. They use the muslim religion to brain wash the populous into sych complete extremism that it results in terrorism. The great irony is that the Saudi royal family, in truth, hates terrorist. It's a real headache for them, and it really sucks when something that they own gets blown up. Basically, they need to keep supporting the fundamentalist muslim movement because it keeps a large portion of the population under control. Terrorist are just a side effect that will go untreated because the rest of the population is so effectively controlled.

Just one other thing, these Saudis are so powerful they got the christian conservative, terrorist fighting President of the United States to hold hands with them. This disturbs me on many levels.

Well that' the man. Now that you know who he is, you should be privy to his tricks.

ok, so I finally got my old files off of Scott's crashed out laptop and here are the true results of my poker playing. Some posts, I complain about how much I'm losing, and some posts, I on about how I'm so rich I can supersize it! Well here it is: the truth

Little explanation -
1/2 - means I bet $1 on preflop, and flop and $2 on turn and river. If that still doesn't make sense, then just think I bet $1, and $2.
BB/100 - Big Bet per 100 hands. It basically shows the rate at which I am making money in poker terms.
SH - short handed. I play against 6 people instead of 10


All my poker-09/15 - $1200
(this data actually is lost, but I played 1/2 and .50/1 until I had $1200)

09/16-09/30
$2/4 22,763 hands $1326 1.46 BB/100
$3/6SH 2,834 hands $1179 6.93 BB/100
Rakeback $886
Total $3391

October
$2/4 13,032 hands $925 1.77 BB/100
$3/6SH 10,975 hands -$2,067 -3.14 BB/100
$5/10SH 1,772 hands -$667 -3.76 BB/100
$5/10 436 hands -$168 -3.85 BB/100
Rakeback $407
Total -$1554 Ouch

November
$2/4 36,400 hands -$214 -.15 BB/100
Rakeback $420
Total $206

December
$2/4 31,631 hands $2,929 2.31 BB/100
$3/6SH 1,520 hands $313 3.44 BB/100
Rakeback $692
Total $3,934

January
$3/6SH 7,558 hands $33.78 .07 BB/100

overall total 131,500 hands of poker and $7,177 (plus about $500 in party poker bonuses)
I finish $2/4 with 100,000 hands as a 1.17 BB/100 player

Commentary on the poker career
Well, things started off pretty freaking awesome. I didn't get serious about poker until the middle of September, and in the next two weeks I made $3,300. I move to Hawaii, a confident man, and bam! I take a $1500 hit. I understand that poker is a random game, but do I have to hit the downside the day after I move to Hawaii, one of the most expensive states in the nation? Not only that, but they take away my rakeback a week after I move to Hawaii. I didn't know what I was gonna do, and I kept telling Scott that I was gonna get a job next week. As far as November goes, really that was a worse month than October. I was back to 2/4 where I thought I was a proven winner, and I still couldn't make money. However, I did finally scam a way to get rakeback again, by using Scott's identity. I must have blocked the month of November from my head, because I don't remember playing that many hands. Well things are back to normal, and this month I'm giving 3/6SH another stab. Scott says I should stick to what I'm good at, but this time I'm confident that I will succeed.

Daily journal - woke up, got out off the futon, brushed teeth, ate some breakfast . . .

Wait, something is missing there? I'm trying to think. . . I did something before I got off the futon. Oh yeah, i played 3,000 hands of poker. That's right, I sat on my ass for 8 hours today without ever getting up, and I managed to make $632.73 plus rakeback in that time. It wasn't easy though, my ass went numb on several occassions, and I had to move to get the feeling back. And there was the time that I had to get up to pop popcorn, but thank god that Scott cooked lunch because then I might have been standing for quite some time.

Part 4: Eston Well I had to feature Eston next because he is certainly the one person who has had the most profound effect on my life in the past 6 months. It was Eston who laid the way with pro poker, told me the book to read, the software to download, wrangled in rakeback, and turned a bad player who loves poker and loves going "all-in" into a good player who waits for his good hands and doesn't have as much fun.

Yeah, if it wasn't for Eston, I wouldn't have afforded this Hawaii trip, still be in Houston, as a TRUE grinder as an EMT. But hey, I would be on track to being a doctor, so fuck you, Eston. Thanks a lot, asshole. Nah, seriously, poker and Hawaii could work out for the better.

Isn't this post about Eston? Well, I met Eston my junior year in college through Jeremy, and my first reaction was that is one TALL ASIAN! Funny side note, his parents are like 5 foot tall, and they figured if they got an asian kid, it would have the added advantage of their son being a similiar height to them. They probably also weren't counting on all the extra money it would take to feed the kid.

So Eston is probably the only guy you'll meet who started college with a hefty scholarship, 30-50 hours of credit, a 4.0 GPA, spent 4 years in college, and then dropped out with 12 hours left. I remember when he dropped out. Jeremy and I went to the courts, and we were suppose to meet up with Eston at like 2:00. Well it was the last day to withdraw from classes, Eston managed to go the entire semester up to this point without showing up to a single class, so Eston shows up to the courts like 2 hours late. In the mean time, we've played several games and are out of shape. Eston's just like "Oh, I had to drop my classes. Come on GUYS! I'm ready to play!" He's going back next semester. Although all evidence points to the contrary, I think he'll pull it off.

Nice things to say about Eston: Eston is certainly one of the people who could vie for the smartest guy I know position, but he is also certainly the person who has pissed off his intelligence the most . . . at least it has come to serve him well in poker. I must admit, reguardless of how he choses to use it, he is certainly the most charismatic person I have ever met. One example: I go to Miranda and Ryan's going away party. I look around, and think, I don't feel like stressing out and spending time meeting people. I just want to sit down and have a good time with the people I know. Then you look at Eston, and EVERY place he goes, you see a group of three or four people intently waiting for his next word, followed by explosions of laughter. As far as Eston's "Crew Post," Eston is number three on earning potential, but his stock goes WAY up if he decides to be a salesman.

Oh yeah and BTW, I love ya when I'm sober too.

The MohawkThat's my crazy, I've got a mohawk face. Unfortunately, the next sequence of pictures is probably a more accurate depiction of how I look to most people.

[Edit Disclaimer: Don't like football, don't read. Move on to the next post]

Well, for all you who enjoy my poker intensive posts (and by all you, I really just mean "me" because I might be the only one who enjpys them), here's a football intensive post. I had $100 on that UT game and I didn't bet the spread, I bet the straight money line for UT to win out right getting 2-1. I'll never bet on UT like that agian though because it made that game quite painful to watch.

I want to start with this. Reggie Bush didn't deserve the Heisman before this game, and he sure as hell didn't deserve it afterwards. Reggie Bush racked up those impressive stats against teams that are overrated. UCLA could just as easily be 7-5 as they are 10-2. Notre Dame is a good team just not the 6th best team. A rating they get simply because they are called Notre Dame. And Fresno State is a WAC team that came out and played the best game they have ever played on offence. Which is good for Bush because normally he'd have been pulled out in the third quarter. But the voters who had Vince Young in the lead, after dominating an underrated Big 12 that proved itself in the bowl season, moved Bush ahead because they like pretty numbers.

So going into this game I felt good. I thought UT's defence would have an anwer for USC, but the one thing I didn't count on was how great Matt Leinart is. I watched Notre Dame, and some of the UCLA game, and I didn't see anything too impressive. I just assumed that he racked up points against the PAC10's shitty defence, and I never saw the Oklahoma game. But Matt Leinart played just as amazing a second half as Vince Young. He was unstoppable, and UT was playing good defence.

So it comes down to that ending. There's a lot of talk about whether Pete Carrol going for it on 4th and 1 was the right move. OF COURSE it was. The way Vince Young was playing with 2 timeouts and 2 minutes, USC wasn't going to stop him no matter what. The key was for them to keep control of the momentum. Where USC was wrong, in my oppinion, was in slowing down on that last drive. They should have walked out on that field like they were the ones down, and that they needed at least 3 because UT was unstoppable. Against any other team in college football, slowing down was the right thing to do. Not only because Texas' potent offence, but also because Texas was one of the few teams with a defence capable of stopping them as they proved in the first half. Just let Matt Leinart lead the team just like he did the entire 2nd half.

Well, UT won the most exciting football game I've ever watched. I will admit this, going into the game, I confidently boasted that UT was the best team in the nation. That's why I bet the straight wager. After the game, although UT won, you really can't say one team is better than the other. However getting 2-1 on your money, I would certainly bet on either team. (If I were a heartless gambler that could bet against his alma mater.)

Hook 'em Horns

The Man - Part 1: Christianity

[Edit: Disclaimer: Any christians reading this - don't. Stop here. I'm done in life debating religion. My ideas are mine only, and I fully respect any of your ideas. Hell, even if you are Muslim and think all infidels should die, as long as your actions don't break any laws, that's your kuliana.]

This is one of a few Wally inspired posts about the man. Wally asked me when I started disliking the man, and I have to say, it certainly started with the Catholic church. I think spirituality is an important trait (which I lack). And I'd have to say my expression of spirituality would be an appreciation for this wonderful game we call life, the stuggle against your own humanity, and doing your best to help and love the people around you.

Me and the Catholic church ain't on target at all. The sermons on giving them money. The ritualistic sit, stand, neil, sit, neil, stand, sit. The singing hymns while holding up pieces of bread, otherwise known as the body of christ. The constant guilt. I spent most of my teens trying not to masturbate and the rest of the time feeling bad about masturbating. Don't get me started on no sex before marriage or even the idea of marriage. And then there is this focus on getting into heaven. Like this made up idea is somehow more important than the blessing of life itself. Hand in hand with that is the rapture, end of the world idea. Scaring people into religion with this fantastical thinking is wrong in many, many ways, and my father wisely commented that the world actually ends for a different person each day. Complaints stated, I have to confess, the guilt, and heaven are residual ideas that are firmly rooted in the background of my motives in life.

Well you heard my idea on spirituality. The man's idea has something to do with giving them money to get into heaven, doing the things they tell you to do with your life, and if you slip up somewhere, it's guilt time. I should take a moment to acknowledge that there are many good things that come from christianity, such as close nit communities built on helping each other, and probably some others that escape me at the moment, but in my book, even if you can come up with many more things, my grievances are inexcusable to me. I'll also allow that there may be a christian church that is more aligned with the ideas i have on spirituality. Although skeptical, if you do find for me this theoretical church, i'll just say that this church is clearly an establishment built on breaking down the man.

I firmly believe that if I'd have stuck with christianity, my spirituality would be forever ruined. But i would say, that it was the first thing that the man targetted. Luckily, it didn't take long for me to rebel in my early teens, but unfortunately, left to my own, I went in the wrong direction, and chose atheism. Well, now, I'm working on a new direction and not completely sure where it is headed.

The Man - 0 Rob - 1

BTW, I originally intended to make this a single post, but it looks like this will be a weekly edition.

Well, Scott's dad came along with quite the tempting proposition this christmas. He said i could get a job at a refining facility in Hawaii as an engineer. Of course, I was thinking about getting a job as an EMT after the break, and poker is always tempting.

Man what should I do? If only I could come to a decision. I KNOW! I'll go to the beach!

When you go to Hawaii, you kind of let go. I've developed this attitude of I want to do this now so I will do this now. Being single also lets me take full advantage of this. Well, one of the hobbies I've developed is asking girls to come to Hawaii. Scott also took on that hobby once he moved to Hawaii, and retired after he got a girl to agree to move here. She doesn't get here until the end of January, but they are already planning what school they will send their kids to. (BTW, One of these girls is reading this blog. I just want to mention that I do seriously want you to come to Hawaii and moved on the day after you didn't reply. And even though I moved on, I still seriously want you to come to Hawaii)

Anyways Robbo is 0 for 3. But two of them told me they really want to come and can't do that right now, and one said I was really sweet (whatever the fuck that means). I swear, she really masterfully avoided the subject on that one. She is practically married though. Which gets back to my point. I wasn't really thinking about the reasons she would say no when I asked. I just wanted her to come so I asked.

Hey Ryan, I think I'm gonna make natalie number 4. I still have her number. The call will take a little more courage than IM and e-mail, but i can pull off the good old ask 3 times trick. For some reason if you ask a girl once, and she says no, you feel bad about it like you failed. But asking 3 times always makes me feel good about it. I'm like damn, I tried. Then I go back over all the ways I asked, and appreciate any clever ones. Plus, I think it makes it look like you never really cared that she said no, since you continued to ask her anyways. It's kind of like you win even though she said no.

Well after that, I only have two other girls I can think of asking, but they are both long shots. I guess they were all long shots though.

In the mean time, I'm gonna start looking for an island girl.

Vacation is over

Well I got back from the great island of Kauai, and now it is back to the daily grind - waking up at noon, going to the beach, and then playing poker. Life is rough. You know that feeling you get at the end of vacation where you just can't stand the thought of going home.

You know . . . when you get home and look at the ocean view and remember how you use to fall asleep to the ocean's waves hitting the shore. Or when you go hiking, see people on the trail, and remember when you only saw one other person on the trail all day. Or when you are drinking Natty Light, remembering the good old Firerock. Or when you go to the local sushi shop, and remember eating at the best sushi shops in Hawaii. Or when you look at the ocean, and you don't get to see whales breeching. Or when you walk to the beach, and don't get to see a sleeping monk seal on the way. Or when you watch the fireworks every friday night and remember the new years eve show that lasted 4 times as long.

Yeah life is tough on Oahu. But vacation has to end sometime.