Long Live the Robbo beard!

Well, I was looking through my old pics, and I came across this picture of my beard, and damnit, I love it. I love my beard, and at the expense of looking like an idiot to most people, I'm going to grow it back.

Ok, so you can't really see the beard in this picture, but it totally comes out in my high resolution pic. I think it took about a month to get it this thick.

The Danish girls: Christina and Maiken

Well I met the Danish girls in Maui, and they left for the Big Island 2 days after I met them, but told me they would be coming to Oahu soon, so as usual I was compulsively checking my e-mail hoping to get a surprise e-mail, and to my surprise they came the day after I got to Oahu. Christina didn't bother to tell me her flight info, just that she was coming and we'd find each other eventually. I gave her my address, and after she tried the shuttle and the bus, she finally called Scott, and we went to pick them up. Well, they show up and I show them the wall of beer and the axed up couch. Note to self: Hacking away at a couch is scary to people who don't know you, but funny in all other situations.

We didn't do much the first day, but the next day starts out with some x-files watching. During which Maiken asks me to pet her arm. It was the funniest thing ever because just like a puppy, she'll sit there forever and switch sides for you to pet. And then when you stop, she always wants more. It cracked me up, and I was a big enough sucker to pet her for a good 30 minutes. I kept laughing at her the whole time to which she would repond it's not weird, I'm happy.

These girls were so much fun. I told them about our button pushing game, and they got so into it, that they would speak in Danish and strategize ways to beat me to the button. One time Christina came up and hugged me and then Maiken jetted to the next button as I run with Christina firmly attached to me. Anoter time, Christina pretends to take off her wet bathing suit. Well, being the idiot that I am, I see Maiken take off, and without flinching I'm running for the next button. One day they came home mumbling and freaking out. Scott and I were so confused, and they told us that they stuck there tongue out on the way home because it feels really cool when you put it back in your mouth . . . Scott and I can't wait to try this.

Well we went to Waikiki, and Christina decides to go surfing, and I tag along, and we go ahead and pay extra for the lessons. After 15 minutes of lessons, I felt like a sucker for paying someone to tell me how to stand on a board, but we both stood up on the first try which is good. I was pretty bored by surfing. I guess I expected to walk out and do flips on the waves. I also didn't like having to paddle all the way back to catch another wave. Well, the instructor had to meet up with some chicks, so he gave us an extra hour and took off early. So after catching a wave, I finally catch up to Christina who being 5' just couldn't paddle good enough to catch any waves so I start pushing her around. Well, I must be a sucker because I had more fun pushing her around than surfing myself. Heh, I didn't want to be too obvious though, so I would give her a push and then pretend that I was waiting for the next wave to catch. But really I would have happily paddled to her just so I could push her again.

The next couple days Christina tried to go skydiving but weather didn't permit. They took off monday night, and I sure will miss them, but I am going backpacking in Europe if poker goes well so maybe I'll see them again.


The only picture I got of the two of them as they pack to leave.

[Edit: Days 2-8 have been added below]
Maui - Day one.
Yesterday, I decided that I am taking the next flight to Maui. I had laundry to finish, so I couldn't leave that day, so I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to make it to my 6:30 flight. I pull up to the Hostel at 7:30 a.m., and they have yet to open. So I lurk around until the front desk opens at 8:00. I drop my shit off, and the tour is off at 8:30 a.m.

The tour starts with a 2 hour drive that curves along the coast in the mountains, that offers an amazingly unique view with every turn. Waterfalls to the right, and each valley to the left is filled with a different type of plant life. I could take a hundred pictures during this drive which is called the Road to Hana. Hana is a town at the end of the drive. The drive was a little long, so I introduced Jowling since we all had our cameras. It was a huge hit.

So we start off with a quick hike to a cave and jump in the numbing water that fills the cave. We swim down a couple small caverns into the pitch black, and there are about 10 of us swimming around.
After that it was a quick hike to the black sand beach, where we got lots of body surfing in. You could ride a wave for a good 10-15 feet. It was actually a little dangerous. One bigger than normal wave, and all the fun could end, but it was worth it.

After that it was a 20 minute drive to Haleakala National park where we did a 2 hour hike that supplied a view of many nice waterfalls, and a pretty impressive final view.

On our way back we swim up the river and climb 15 feet up a pretty steep cliff. It kinda sucks because once you get to the top, you have no choice but to jump off the thing. After the hike we stop by the Red Sand beach which was quite an amazing site.

Then it's time for the 2 hout ride back home, during which Joe, our tour guide, informs us that he doesn't mind if we drink. A little about Joe. Before I left, Scott told me to see if Joe was there since he had been there for years. All he told me about Joe is that his only vice is women. He doesn't drink, smoke, nothing. Well, I'm hiking with Joe, and I ask him if he has been there a while. Then he asked what my roommate said about him. He asked "Did he say, I'll sleep with you're girlfriend." and with that comment I knew it was the same Joe.

So I get a 12 pack of Natty Light for me, and a 12 pack for anyone who might want to have a beer. Much to my dismay, nobody was down with the Natty. The Canadian girl, Michelle, sitting by me took a look at the box and wanted to read what so natural about it. I laughed and informed her the name had nothing to do with natural food. Anyways, Scott told me to drink all my beer because it will disappear in the fridge. At the end of the night I label one 12 pack, "Rob", and I label 3 remaining beers "free". Well, the next mourning, the Natty had yet to even be touched. Anyways, back in the van, I chug down a few beers, and start to get a little frisky. We play "Never have I ever" and I say never have I ever had anal sex. I haven't had anal sex nor do I want to, but I figure I'll never see these people again, I'll go ahead and drink to that just for fun. To my dismay, nobody else drinks along, and I just sit there with my Natty Light looking like a fucking idiot. Well then we move on to the most embarrassing stories ever. I detail the time I drove from Austin to Galveston, refused to stop because I don't make stops, so I tried to pee in a Mountain Dew bottle. After deciding that i might piss all over the car, I leave my pants half off and never go to the restroom. Then 10 minutes later, I get pulled over by a cop. I decide not to put my pants back on so the cop doesn't think I'm pulling out a gun, so I just toss my shirt over the unbuckled pants. Well, then, the cop asks me to get out of the car, and I have to put my pants on as I get out of the car in front of the cop.

Well, during this 2 hour drive, I manage to put down 4 beers, and I decide to slow down on the 5th because I kind of have to go to the restroom. Well, at some point my drunk ass decides that I would rather chug that 5th beer than have to sit there and hold it in my hand because that is too much effort. Well I hold it in as long as I can until I have to ask Michelle to ask Joe when we can stop. (At this point I can't speak loud enough for Joe to hear me) Well Joe says 15 minutes. And I proceed to countdown the minutes with Michelle. I get down to 8 minutes, ask again, and Joe says 10-15 minutes. I tell him we got to stop right away, I can't hold it any longer. He says one minute, and we finally stop at the Dunkin Doughnuts. You would think that I would jet out of the car the second it stops, but I am in soooo much pain that I can't even move. So I hold my breath and fight through the pain and finally get up. Then I go to open the doors, and they are both locked. So then I walk 2 feet to the right and pee in the bushes right in front of about 20 people in the tour busses. Get back in the van and receive a nice round of applause.

[EDIT]
Oh yeah, I left out one funny detail from Day 1. Well, Everyone knew I was from Texas, and everyone knew I played poker for a living. Well after trying not to piss, Joe came up to me and said my new nickname should be "Texas Hold'em"

Day 2
Well Day 2 was rather uneventful. I went swimming and saw some sea turtles. We also hit up a couple tourist traps such as a buddha statue and some town . . . Lahaina. There was a place with $1 beers though, so it worked out.

Anyways, went back to the hot tub where I met Johnny and a couple other cool people. During the time, I informed them of my Natty Light problem, and everyone had a couple rounds. As a matter of fact, Johnny and Gouta decided that they were going o start buying Natty Light so there beer doesn't get stolen. At this point I was pretty happy about converting the Hostel over to Natty Light. Then got an invite to a coffee shop that serves alcohol where I met the coolest girl ever from Denmark. We didn't speak much at the coffee shop, but when we left, we started dancing down the streets. I kept singing this song I made up called "We're dancing, don't need no music!" Then she asks what's the name of the song that sounds like that one. And I sing "This song kinda sounds like another one, but I really don't know the name of it." Well, we crack up laughing, and dance and sing the whole way home. Unfortunately, before the end of the night I found out she has been at the hostel for a month and already has some hostel romance going on. She's leaving in 2 days, going to the Big Island, then swinging back to Oahu. I decide to wait in line and see if I can win her over back in Oahu.

Day 3
I wake up at about 7:00 a.m. I'm restless as all hell, and I'm thinking the tour doesn't leave until noon. So I decide to make a Walmart trip since I forgot my memory stick, and I can only take 17 pictures. Well, I hit up all the tourist traps such as Office Depot, Old Navy, and Walmart, and I make it back at 10:50. And I am pleasantly surprised to see that the tour bus left at 10:30. So I sniff out the Danish chick, Christina, and I ask her what she is doing to which she replies "We are going to see monkeys," and I invite myself to go along. I'm waiting around, and she comes up dancing, and I'm just like oh shit, I'm gonna have to generate that level of excitement while I'm sober. We finally leave for a 2.5 mile walk to the Maui Tropical Plantation, and we dance and sing the whole way there. We finally get to the place, and get to see a total of 2 monkeys.



I had been under the impression that this place was full of monkeys, but no, just 2. So, you are suppose to pay for a $10 tour where you get on big tour car, and they drive you around the plantation. We decide not to do it, and walk to the beginning of the tour and see a ginormous, Do Not Enter sign. Christina asks me what we should do, and without flinching, I say we go for it. Well walking around, Christina sees a big basket of coconuts, and she wants one, so without flinching, I say we steal it. This wasn't exactly the perfect crime because Christina goes through each coconut, looking for the one with the most juice, and then we shove it in my backpack. Well, further down the path, she decides she wants a huge papaya nearly the size of the coconut. Being 5', she sends me to jump and get the papaya in plain view of the entrance. We shove the papaya into my now bulging backpack. Then Christina sees an avocado that she wants. At this point Maiken, and Mike are walking about 15 feet behind us, and there are some workers in plain view, but I decide to give it a go anyways. Well the Avoccado wasn't budging, so we had to leave it behind us. A little later a truck drives up to us, and a lady hops out to inform us that we aren't allowed on the path, but she lets us finish the tour and walk out since we are nearly by the exit. I couldn't get out there fast enough, so I was just ready to jet out the exit even though nobody who worked there really cared.

Well we made it out safe, and hitchhiked back into town. We get some pizza, then decide to go ahead and hike Iao which is a rainforrest.

Iao peak

Now, we are with Mike who maintains trails for a living. so he takes us through the woods and decides to scale up the side of the mountain. Me and Christina decide to follow along. The mountain was so steep that you pulled yourself up with the trees. It's late and we finally get to a point where the brush is much thicker, so we sit back enjoy the view, and decide to turn around. Well, at some point I think "Man, my sister would love Christina." Never really thought that about any girl before.



Christina (camera pointing down)

This picture was pointed straight down. (You can see my shoe at the bottom of the tree and my knee in the bottom right corner)

We get back and my hot tub buddy, Johnny, mentions that we should get started early, and the chicks will follow. This starts a long running inside joke between the two of us that we dubbed "the vibe." Everytime we get together the chicks will soon follow. We'd be standing in a big group of people that just happens to have a lot of girls, and we'd just look at each other and say "the ladies can't resist us." Or everytime a girl would hop in the hot tub, we would give each other a high 5 like we had something to do with the girls getting in. It was good fun. Here's a picture from the last day we vibed it.

The Vibe

Day 4
I'm pretty exhausted and the tour for the day is whale watching. So I skip out and tag along with Johnny and Jess. Unfortunately, they are stoners, and it takes until 2:00 before they go somewhere, and we just went to a couple of beaches and they smoked weed. A really boring day, but I needed the relaxation, and I got to spend 4 hours in the hot tub.

Day 5
Haleakala hike. Well you start at the summit 10,000 feet which is above the clouds, The total hike is a 3,000 feet in elevation and 12 miles in distance. You start above the clouds and then eventually you are hiking in the clouds. The hike ends with a pretty intense round of switchbacks, at which point my Norwegian roommate, Gouta, starts running up the side switchbacks. A little about Gouta. He was a chiropractor and physical therapist who decided to go to Hawaii on a one month vacation because he wanted to do Yoga and go surfing everyday. I might just have to steal that idea one day. Well, I see him running up the mountain, I get a little excited, and I start going at a really fast pace, a little slower than a run. Finally at the end of the trail, I see Gouta, but I have just done the hardest hike of my life and didn't even reach the summit. Not happy about this, I take the road to the summit which turns out to be an extra 7 miles. Well the tour bus catches up to me and tells me I only have 2 miles left. I refuse the ride, but i drop my stuff off and start running. I can run 2 miles no problem, but after a 17 mile hike, going up a mountain, my running didn't last long. I was stupid enough to drop off my jacket so I am 300 meters away from the summit when the wind really kicks in, and it is getting really cold. One of the cars comes to pick me up, but I'm not stopping, but luckily Rich comes back down the mountain with my jacket and volunteers his wind breaker. I would have had to stop if it wasn't for him. But I reached the summit.

You know, I came to Hawaii because I didn't know where I wanted to go with my life. Well, during that 19 mile hike, I knew I'd finally found it.






An endangered cactus that is only found in like 3 places.

Hardcore



The Nene, an endangered bird. You can't feed it or it dies. I wonder why it is endangered.

It falls off on each side as you walk from one mountain to the next. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop and take more pictures because I was on a mission to the top.





Titanium core

Day 6
Well, somehow, I got invited to go sailing. It was a great time.


. . . There was a whale, but now it's just a splash.

Took a picture before I left. BTW, this boat can sail across the world and cost 20k which gave me some ideas.

After a few days of intense activity, I spent a couple hours relaxing in the hot tub. Johnny walked up to the hot tub twice, and both times, a girl showed up less than a minute later. The Vibe is strong.

Day 7
Well the tour for the day was Iao, so I decide to finish what I started and try to summit. I leave on my own, and bike 3 miles up hill on a shitty free bike which was hardcore. It wasn't wise to go alone, but I enjoyed a good day alone in the woods. I reached the top of the tree line (titanium core), and after much denial, I realize that there is no chance of safely reaching the top of the mountain. I side tracked for a good 50 feet, with no help in sight, I finally call it quits, and go back down another 20 feet where I feel safer. I sit down, have a snack, and do some writing in my journal. It starts to rain so I head back. I decide not to back track since I never felt that safe sidetracking. Unfortunately, the way that I went down was a lot thicker with smaller bush-sized trees and a lot steeper than the way I went up. It was quite treacherous. It felt really good once I got back into the big trees and away from all the loose looking boulders.

Well I did get high enough up to catch a view of the river this time.



Straight up pic from the highest point I got to.

Straight down pic from the highest point I got to.

Hiked back down 20 feet, sat on this limb that I somewhat securely lodged on the other trees, and camped out.

Day 8
Well I gave myself an extra day to go to the beach, but the tour bus broke down, and they got it fixed an hour after the tour was suppose to leave. So at the last second I get the I must move bug, and I hop on the tour bus. I had a good day, put down some awesome fish tacos, and on the hike, I decide to just take a nap under a huge Banyan tree.

Another picture from Red Sand Beach

Well, Maui was great. It was the time of my life, but I don't think I'll ever be back. I got to see a lot of amazing things, and I completed the hikes that I wanted to complete. I'll really miss the people that I met, but there are plenty of other places to see and people to meet.

Ok so the next post is going to be a fucking short novel, but this one is gonna be pretty simple. Basically I've come up with a pretty nice list of adventures that I want to do some of which were inspired by the many great people in the hostel. (in no particular order)

1. Go to Alaska for the summer and learn to sail in the roughest waters in the world all in preperation for a worldwide sailing trip.
2. Go to Kaui and do the entire Na Pali Coast hike and find that damn third tunnel.
3. Go backpacking through Europe. Mainly for all the F'in cool europeans I met.
4. Go to Fiji, and buy some cheap ass beachfront property. Sit on it, develop it, and Laugh 5 years from now when the ridonkulous cash comes rolling in.
5. Visit Australia, New Zealand, and Japan. Just 3 places I would love to see.
6. Visit the Big Island, Lanai, and Molokai.

Well, I didn't move to Hawaii to play 50k hands of poker. So, I decided to go to Maui at the end of this month. Scott told me about this awesome place http://www.mauihostel.com/index.html and I had to change my plans to tomorrow. See ya later suckers. Expect a damn good post sometime around Wednesday of next week.

The man: a related story

So this blog isn't really about the man, but it does have to do with worldly issues. I always get this feeling with my life that I should be doing something that's going to benefit society and make the world we live in a better place. I'm sure that I'm not the only person with such inspirations. Anyways I was watching the TV, and I realized that there is no one that has accomplished this goal better than Pamela Anderson.

Now I know what you are thinking. Haha, her big tits made me a happier person too Rob. But, in an indirect way, Pamela Anderson has made a difference in the world on an even more profound level. Baywatch is the biggest tv show hit ever . . . overseas. And in a way, it is our one saving grace. I mean foreigners hate everything about Americans. We're like the spoiled older child taking everyones toys, and pretending that it's ok. But our one saving grace is American entertainment. It's the one thing that makes people want to be like Americans. As a matter of fact, before Bush fucked everything up with the Iraq war, the muslim world was slowly becoming more liberal thanks to the connection through american entertainment. Pamela Anderson without knowing it made bigger strides towards world peace than most nobel laureates. You know, I don't understand Muslims, and Muslins don't understand me. But we both like bouncing titties, and that might just be a place we can start.

I just got to say. It really makes my day when I get a comment on my blog. Especially this last one. I mean Cara Valinoti. I haven't seen her in 7 years. And you know what, it pisses me off when I get an IM, and it's somebody telling me something about my blog. Or I'll be talking to someone and they'll say oh I liked this about your blog. I'm just yelling on the inside "Leave a Comment!" If my log provokes you to say something, go ahead and leave a comment.