Oh Religion

Good old religion. You know there once was a time where I thought I had it all figured out. I knew I was right, and I felt pretty darn good about being right. I guess I kind of got a little older, matured a bit, and can really think about things. When it comes down to it, all I really get out of my views on the world is the arrogant ability to say I´m right and everyone else is wrong. The irony is that I profess that you can´t know, but I know that you can´t know therefore, I am right and you are wrong.

Here´s the kicker though. I get the ability to be right, and although on one level I do feel good about being right, on another level I feel like an isolated asshole. My views on the world don´t really offer any true happiness.

Now, you would think that I also get the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want, completely guilt free, but I don´t. The thing is that my morality is the only thing that I have. Since I don´t have god, it´s the only thing I have to make sense of things. When I order a water at a restaurant, I don´t sneak the coke because it would be wrong. I don´t tell white lies because the truth is all I got. And poker, although I play, I feel completely awful about it no matter how hard I try to justify it.

On the other hand you have the christians. I was talking to this old lady the other day who said her husband died 9 months ago and the only thing that got her through the days was her faith in God. Whether, I like it or not, it´s true. She´s created a relationship with God that gives her strength and happiness. Beyond that, she has an awesome community of friends in family united in faith that will always help her in her time of need.

However, christians can´t do whatever they want, whenever they want, without guilt, but they do. Granted, many of them are indeed good people, but I also know many that float around doing the things they do, and then god will forgive them when they go to church on Sunday.

I suppose I could go over the deep end, and start praising our almighty saviour, the lord, jesus christ, but everybody knows that would be supremely inauthentic. If I could take a believe in Jesus pill, I would. There really is no good reason not to believe in Jesus.

Ok, I´m tired of writing. Publish.

You ever watch Half Baked? Have you ever watched Half Baked on weeeed? Well my friends, after 7 years of avoiding the dubage due to the extreme paranoia that it causes, I finally gave it a go. And boy, have I been missing out!

A friend and I had nothing to do at 2:00 in the mourning, so we made quite the event out of it. We go to Walmart, and we buy donuts, cinnamon rolls, and the movie, Half Baked. Did you know that that movie is fucking hilarious! And let me tell you something else, those doughnuts were to die for! I mean, I would smoke some weed JUST for the purpose of eating doughnuts on weed. I just wish I would have had more doughnuts. That would have been awesome.

Anyways, I have learned something about smoking weed. You can't just do it for fun. You have to make a huge event out of it. You gotta have plenty of different types of snacks ready from the four basic food groups: doughnuts, twinkies, cheetos, and popcorn. BTW, you may want to even combine two of the foodgroups into a meal. Like you could shove the twinky down the center of the doughnut, and eat it all as one meal. Or you may want to stuff the twinky with cheetos. Feel free to be creative. The other thing you MUST do is line up some form of entertainment such as a good movie. I'd also suggesst bringing a gallon filled with water by your side. Remember, the most important thing while you are high is that you move as LITTLE as possible!

These things are especially important to me because I get REALLY paranoid when I'm stoned.

Well, not wanting to go to the beach and swim in all the raw sewage, I walked out the mauka door, saw the view of the mountains, picked a peak out, and walked to the top. After an assload of walking, my intentions of summitting were repeatedly thwarted by million dollar houses with gates that had signs posted telling me to keep the fuck out. So I picked out a peak without so many houses, and trailblazed my way to the top. I found a small Banyan tree, camped out, and had lunch (a tuna sandwich).

Sitting on the top of that mountain, I decided it's time to change pace. I've been fighting the good fight here in Hawaii. My refusal to get a job. Going to the beach every mourning for a swim. Sitting in my underwear all day. Sleeping on the floor. But, it's time for me to let go of all that. Maybe it's due to the infrequency of my beach visits, but I've decided to head back to Texas. It's time for this degenerate to settle down and get a job. Actually, I've been thinking about it for some time. There's just so much I want to learn and do in life, and poker's just not on the list anymore. So, I'm gonna kick things off by being an EMT, and learning how to save lives. When I signed up for my EMT class, I did it just so I could put it on my medical school application. Now, I don't really care about medical school. I just want to try it on, and learn something different. I just think it will be a great experience. Hehe, during my EMT training, I had the pleasure of cleaning shit and washing a bumb's gangrene infected feet and hands. . . there's plenty more for me to learn.

I haven't really decided whether I'll go back to Houston or Austin. All my friends have migrated back to Houston, so I'd like to go there. But, Houston's not an active enough city for me, so I'll most likely end up back in Austin. I really do love that town.

That's it. I've made my final fold. As Logan would say, "Dude, I made a really good lay down today."

There was a factual error in one of my previous blog posts. Honduras is actually the country I will be going to. I might want to start planning this thing a little better. In my defence, I didn't know I was going until 4 days ago.

Polling closed. Shaving wins. Afterwards, I looked at myself in the mirror, and said, that's not me, I have a kicking beard. Oh well, I suppose to most, I look better. Keep the dream alive, Adam Morrison.

So I'm going to Nicaragua in 10 days for 3 weeks. In other news, today's my birthday. The big 25, quarter of a century

Another poker post

February
5/10 2,701 hands -$1,059 -3.92 BB/100
3/6 5,001 hands -$859 -2.86 BB/100
Rakeback $262
Total -$1,656

March
5/10 575 hands -$434 -7.55 BB/100
3/6 37,963 hands $855 .38 BB/100
2/4 7,329 hands $499 1.70 BB/100
Rakeback $1,462
Total $2,382

Commentary:
Well I remember reading a post like this from Eston. But poker is hard work . . . not to be taken lightly. I fucked off for the whole month of February except the last two days. Then I went on a 3k losing streak and slowly grinded my way back. Back in November I was losing money and talking about how I was building my poker muscles. I had a theory that I could get use to losing money. That I could get so good at poker that I could lose some, and still play good poker. After the 3k loss, I realized that I can't. I will always want to make money and will be upset when I lose. Now, I have no problem losing $500, but after that, I go nuts. Unfortunately, there is no end to me losing money. It's just a part of the game.

I've also learned that I'm just going to have to be more disciplined. I can't play more than 3k hands a day, and I need 2 days off a week to prevent burnout.