[Edit: Days 2-8 have been added below]
Maui - Day one.
Yesterday, I decided that I am taking the next flight to Maui. I had laundry to finish, so I couldn't leave that day, so I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to make it to my 6:30 flight. I pull up to the Hostel at 7:30 a.m., and they have yet to open. So I lurk around until the front desk opens at 8:00. I drop my shit off, and the tour is off at 8:30 a.m.
The tour starts with a 2 hour drive that curves along the coast in the mountains, that offers an amazingly unique view with every turn. Waterfalls to the right, and each valley to the left is filled with a different type of plant life. I could take a hundred pictures during this drive which is called the Road to Hana. Hana is a town at the end of the drive. The drive was a little long, so I introduced Jowling since we all had our cameras. It was a huge hit.
So we start off with a quick hike to a cave and jump in the numbing water that fills the cave. We swim down a couple small caverns into the pitch black, and there are about 10 of us swimming around.
After that it was a quick hike to the black sand beach, where we got lots of body surfing in. You could ride a wave for a good 10-15 feet. It was actually a little dangerous. One bigger than normal wave, and all the fun could end, but it was worth it.
After that it was a 20 minute drive to Haleakala National park where we did a 2 hour hike that supplied a view of many nice waterfalls, and a pretty impressive final view.
On our way back we swim up the river and climb 15 feet up a pretty steep cliff. It kinda sucks because once you get to the top, you have no choice but to jump off the thing. After the hike we stop by the Red Sand beach which was quite an amazing site.
Then it's time for the 2 hout ride back home, during which Joe, our tour guide, informs us that he doesn't mind if we drink. A little about Joe. Before I left, Scott told me to see if Joe was there since he had been there for years. All he told me about Joe is that his only vice is women. He doesn't drink, smoke, nothing. Well, I'm hiking with Joe, and I ask him if he has been there a while. Then he asked what my roommate said about him. He asked "Did he say, I'll sleep with you're girlfriend." and with that comment I knew it was the same Joe.
So I get a 12 pack of Natty Light for me, and a 12 pack for anyone who might want to have a beer. Much to my dismay, nobody was down with the Natty. The Canadian girl, Michelle, sitting by me took a look at the box and wanted to read what so natural about it. I laughed and informed her the name had nothing to do with natural food. Anyways, Scott told me to drink all my beer because it will disappear in the fridge. At the end of the night I label one 12 pack, "Rob", and I label 3 remaining beers "free". Well, the next mourning, the Natty had yet to even be touched. Anyways, back in the van, I chug down a few beers, and start to get a little frisky. We play "Never have I ever" and I say never have I ever had anal sex. I haven't had anal sex nor do I want to, but I figure I'll never see these people again, I'll go ahead and drink to that just for fun. To my dismay, nobody else drinks along, and I just sit there with my Natty Light looking like a fucking idiot. Well then we move on to the most embarrassing stories ever. I detail the time I drove from Austin to Galveston, refused to stop because I don't make stops, so I tried to pee in a Mountain Dew bottle. After deciding that i might piss all over the car, I leave my pants half off and never go to the restroom. Then 10 minutes later, I get pulled over by a cop. I decide not to put my pants back on so the cop doesn't think I'm pulling out a gun, so I just toss my shirt over the unbuckled pants. Well, then, the cop asks me to get out of the car, and I have to put my pants on as I get out of the car in front of the cop.
Well, during this 2 hour drive, I manage to put down 4 beers, and I decide to slow down on the 5th because I kind of have to go to the restroom. Well, at some point my drunk ass decides that I would rather chug that 5th beer than have to sit there and hold it in my hand because that is too much effort. Well I hold it in as long as I can until I have to ask Michelle to ask Joe when we can stop. (At this point I can't speak loud enough for Joe to hear me) Well Joe says 15 minutes. And I proceed to countdown the minutes with Michelle. I get down to 8 minutes, ask again, and Joe says 10-15 minutes. I tell him we got to stop right away, I can't hold it any longer. He says one minute, and we finally stop at the Dunkin Doughnuts. You would think that I would jet out of the car the second it stops, but I am in soooo much pain that I can't even move. So I hold my breath and fight through the pain and finally get up. Then I go to open the doors, and they are both locked. So then I walk 2 feet to the right and pee in the bushes right in front of about 20 people in the tour busses. Get back in the van and receive a nice round of applause.
[EDIT]
Oh yeah, I left out one funny detail from Day 1. Well, Everyone knew I was from Texas, and everyone knew I played poker for a living. Well after trying not to piss, Joe came up to me and said my new nickname should be "Texas Hold'em"
Maui - Day one.
Yesterday, I decided that I am taking the next flight to Maui. I had laundry to finish, so I couldn't leave that day, so I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to make it to my 6:30 flight. I pull up to the Hostel at 7:30 a.m., and they have yet to open. So I lurk around until the front desk opens at 8:00. I drop my shit off, and the tour is off at 8:30 a.m.
The tour starts with a 2 hour drive that curves along the coast in the mountains, that offers an amazingly unique view with every turn. Waterfalls to the right, and each valley to the left is filled with a different type of plant life. I could take a hundred pictures during this drive which is called the Road to Hana. Hana is a town at the end of the drive. The drive was a little long, so I introduced Jowling since we all had our cameras. It was a huge hit.
So we start off with a quick hike to a cave and jump in the numbing water that fills the cave. We swim down a couple small caverns into the pitch black, and there are about 10 of us swimming around.
After that it was a quick hike to the black sand beach, where we got lots of body surfing in. You could ride a wave for a good 10-15 feet. It was actually a little dangerous. One bigger than normal wave, and all the fun could end, but it was worth it.
After that it was a 20 minute drive to Haleakala National park where we did a 2 hour hike that supplied a view of many nice waterfalls, and a pretty impressive final view.
On our way back we swim up the river and climb 15 feet up a pretty steep cliff. It kinda sucks because once you get to the top, you have no choice but to jump off the thing. After the hike we stop by the Red Sand beach which was quite an amazing site.
Then it's time for the 2 hout ride back home, during which Joe, our tour guide, informs us that he doesn't mind if we drink. A little about Joe. Before I left, Scott told me to see if Joe was there since he had been there for years. All he told me about Joe is that his only vice is women. He doesn't drink, smoke, nothing. Well, I'm hiking with Joe, and I ask him if he has been there a while. Then he asked what my roommate said about him. He asked "Did he say, I'll sleep with you're girlfriend." and with that comment I knew it was the same Joe.
So I get a 12 pack of Natty Light for me, and a 12 pack for anyone who might want to have a beer. Much to my dismay, nobody was down with the Natty. The Canadian girl, Michelle, sitting by me took a look at the box and wanted to read what so natural about it. I laughed and informed her the name had nothing to do with natural food. Anyways, Scott told me to drink all my beer because it will disappear in the fridge. At the end of the night I label one 12 pack, "Rob", and I label 3 remaining beers "free". Well, the next mourning, the Natty had yet to even be touched. Anyways, back in the van, I chug down a few beers, and start to get a little frisky. We play "Never have I ever" and I say never have I ever had anal sex. I haven't had anal sex nor do I want to, but I figure I'll never see these people again, I'll go ahead and drink to that just for fun. To my dismay, nobody else drinks along, and I just sit there with my Natty Light looking like a fucking idiot. Well then we move on to the most embarrassing stories ever. I detail the time I drove from Austin to Galveston, refused to stop because I don't make stops, so I tried to pee in a Mountain Dew bottle. After deciding that i might piss all over the car, I leave my pants half off and never go to the restroom. Then 10 minutes later, I get pulled over by a cop. I decide not to put my pants back on so the cop doesn't think I'm pulling out a gun, so I just toss my shirt over the unbuckled pants. Well, then, the cop asks me to get out of the car, and I have to put my pants on as I get out of the car in front of the cop.
Well, during this 2 hour drive, I manage to put down 4 beers, and I decide to slow down on the 5th because I kind of have to go to the restroom. Well, at some point my drunk ass decides that I would rather chug that 5th beer than have to sit there and hold it in my hand because that is too much effort. Well I hold it in as long as I can until I have to ask Michelle to ask Joe when we can stop. (At this point I can't speak loud enough for Joe to hear me) Well Joe says 15 minutes. And I proceed to countdown the minutes with Michelle. I get down to 8 minutes, ask again, and Joe says 10-15 minutes. I tell him we got to stop right away, I can't hold it any longer. He says one minute, and we finally stop at the Dunkin Doughnuts. You would think that I would jet out of the car the second it stops, but I am in soooo much pain that I can't even move. So I hold my breath and fight through the pain and finally get up. Then I go to open the doors, and they are both locked. So then I walk 2 feet to the right and pee in the bushes right in front of about 20 people in the tour busses. Get back in the van and receive a nice round of applause.
[EDIT]
Oh yeah, I left out one funny detail from Day 1. Well, Everyone knew I was from Texas, and everyone knew I played poker for a living. Well after trying not to piss, Joe came up to me and said my new nickname should be "Texas Hold'em"
posted by robbo at 1:23 AM
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