You know most people pray before they eat a meal, but not me. I thank the Lord after a good dump. Once it's gone all the way through your system. Actually, there are few things I look forward to more than a good dump. You know, there are the times that you know a good dump is coming, and you can't wait to get it out. But it's really upsetting when it turns out to be a bad dump because you got your hopes up for nothing. But then there are the unexpected ones. Just a nice treat to end the day. Anyways, after a really really good dump, I always think to myself "Praise Jesus" . . . don't know when that started. There's just something about a great dump, you get the chills all the way through your body. I've heard that during child birth, once the child passes, it's like taking the greatest dump of your life. That really gives me a case of Vag envy.
posted by robbo at 6:54 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, yeah...thanking God for the good ones. But, have you ever prayed during one of the bad ones that won't come out? Holy crap (pun intended), it's like that turd is coming out sideways. Since the good ones are almost magical, try saying this: "Abracadabra!" A favorite word of magicians; it actually has its beginnings with Greek Gnostics that would use it to summon a divinity using "abrasadabra." The etymology comes from the Hebrew terms : Ab, the father, Ben, the son, and Acadsch, the holy spirit.
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