Part Something: Bryan Evans
Well, Bryan has a knack for making the party happen. He's the guy that goes out and buys 5 different bottles o hard liquor, 100 beers, and then invites a shitload of people over. He's the guy that sees people on the street and says, hey party at my place. He's also the guy that makes sure the alcohol is always flowing. Have you ever seen that comercial where a guy litters and then the camera cuts to an Indian with a tear in his eye? Well, that happens to Bryan everytime he sees an empty glass of alcohol. One time at Friends, a bar on 6th, Bryan asks me for my beer. I'm pretty drunk, so I hand it over and get distracted by well hell, at clubs, I am in a constant state of distraction. Anyways later on, I go to the restroom and walk by Logan who was completely sober since he was working as a bouncer. Well, Logan starts telling me that I'm a little waisted and maybe I should slow down. I gawk at the idea of slowing down because it's just a beer and it can't possibly make me much worse. Of course, at this time, I also notice that my beer has a pretty strong alcohol flavor to it. And my drunk ass reasons that I must be soo drunk that I can taste the alcohol . . . I know. . . I know. Come to find out Bryan had been slipping shots of Vodka in my beer while I wasn't looking, or rather while I was looking but too incoherent to solve the mystery of why my beer was so alcoholic. Thus was born the V&B.

And then there's the time that we went to New Orleans for spring break, and Bryan kept buying me tube shots to get me to flirt with the waitress. He keeps buying me this assortment of tube shots that I have no interest in, and I am not looking forward to the ensuing vomit cocktail to follow. But being drunk, I couldn't turn down free shots which later turned out not to be free as Bryan had bought so many people drinks that he had completely run out of cash. (Of course later in that trip I ran out of cash, but that was at the Black Jack tables.) Anyways, I'm putting down these tube shots, when the waitress instructs me that i must pick one of the tubes up with my mouth. Usually, I'd turn down the request because I don't want my tooth to fall out (My tooth use to fall out. But that's a different story), but I was drunk enough to convince myself to give it a try. Needless to say, after the shot, I feel a gap, my heart sinks to the floor, and I look around and see something on the floor, pick it up, and it's just a piece of paper. So then luckily the waitress comes back by, and I start rummaging through the empty tubes. I have to hold each one up to the light, but I finally find a tube with a white tooth in it, and ask her if I can keep the tube as a souvenir. Then I can't get the tooth out so I turn the tube over and flick it until the tooth falls into my mouth and I position it securely in place with my tongue. Good times.

I could detail plenty of crazy things that Bryan did while he was drunk, but I don't know if he would care for a bunch of random people knowing his business. Oh yeah, the first time I ever threw up from having too much alcohol was thanks to Bryan Evans, and that really made his day.

Nice things to say about Bryan: Well, I'm sure you missed it, but I've already complemented him enough to bring a tear to his eye.